Good morning, Jules.

This is the last time I'll write in this journal. From this moment on, these are your thoughts and your recollections. I've been in this space too long and expected too many answers from the things I can't control. I know better than that, and I hope that you're starting to realize that, when we were sent here, it wasn't ever supposed to make sense. The stress and the frustration that you feel are all part of why I am here. In your head. It wasn't enough to take us from our homes. They had to take you from yourselves. Heroes have to exist in the open where I'm from because these plots to devour worlds are not uncommon. You are obligated to choose sides and some of us are burdened with terrible childhoods that make it easier to have our mettle tested.

This week, I tried to go back home. Or to see if I could go there and back to collect my shit. I ventured out into the Web and tried to find my home, thinking that the brief hallucination of Madripoor I had last month was an indication that I could go back. No matter how many universes I tried to visit, when I set the dial back to home, it led me back here. Some of us aren't as quick to pick things up as you are, Jules. It took me six failures to realize I was in a bad metaphor. Home is where the heart is and all that. You make a better heart than I ever would.

I guess you'll know all of that sooner rather than later. You'll know all of it, eventually. There are just some things I want you to hear from me rather than in a flood of visions you can't control.

In August of last year, I traveled back in time. Or I was pushed back in time. Sent there by an Infinity Gem. The nightmares you've been having are the nightmares of someone who never existed before that moment, but now live firmly in the past. The Gem created a place for us there and a life that you never lived. I didn't tell you because I know you, Jules. I know what you want, even if you try to hide it from me, and you don't deserve to have the things you want taken from you even if it wasn't ever really yours to begin with. The things I helped in that world are things I am not proud of and have only strengthened my belief that working with the government will only end poorly for us. You are better than the manipulation they would have us do.

I keep getting lost in the warnings.

What I really wanted to say is that I have always tried to do right thing, even when I've failed at it. Even when I've done horrible things in my life, I tried to make amends. Amends are not excuses or forgiveness and it took me most of my life to figure that out. I don't expect you to forgive me for some of the things I've done while I've been here, but I hope that, when you see what my life was like before now, you can see how I hard I worked to be good.

You shouldn't have to do this, Jules, but I hope you do. I hope you do good things with all of this. Better things. I think you know what's coming. You can see it in Jeremiah and Gerry. They work better together. I can't go home. There's no reason I should steal yours from you.

I'll be around. Just give me a shout.